Saturday, February 24, 2007

Talking to Women

Most people who get a chance to feel comfortable talking to me at all seem to share everything. It is remarkable the things people tell me. Especially women. I like talking to women preferentially when I am out at a bar. I don't shun social conversation with men or anything, I am just single and available so I happen to get into a lot of discussions with women.

Sometimes it's even awkward when some designated driver guy's girlfriend is trashed and starts saying "you're cute...I like have good taste in're funny." I am just left to say "thanks, you're too nice...etc." and make a "sorry man" face at her boyfriend. Inevitably he'll take a break and she'll say things like "he's cheated on me a couple of times, but I forgave him...maybe I shouldn't have." It's like I want to say "you're hot and all, but are you trying to get me into a fight?"

Other times people tell me, in plain spoken detail, about their first sexual experience. This is every bit as uncomfortable for me as it should be, though I am kind of used to it. It's the curse of being a truly nice guy. I am not fault-free by any means, just sincere and I think I generally project what and who I really am.

One time a girl oversharing with me told me about how she was fucking three different guys and keeping that from all of them. I was thinking about how it was not her desire for lots of sex that I found objectionable, but her casual ability to deceive others....setting them up for emotional and health risks they did not choose themselves. That was the real immorality I saw. Every guy dreams of a woman with a lot of sexual energy, a great sexual attitude and eagerness.

Later that night, at a bar called DV8 in Salt Lake, (long ago), she actually validated me to another woman. That's an interesting phenomenon. The 3-boyfriend girl saw me flirting with another girl and said "hi ..." [calling me by name]. Even though the girl I was flirting with knew her, didn't like her, considered her a rival...this referral made the girl I was flirting with feel like I was a known and understood quantity. I was "safe". Which led to a lot of good times and a painful drawn out break up as well. It was better....I have lived and loved rather than never to have loved.

Being "safe" is a fine thing to be if it gets me what I want, the affection, attention and progress to sexual intercourse with women. I am a person who errs on the side of less aggressive sometimes anyway, and I believe in fairness and equality, mutual respect.

The other day I had a monday off for President's Day. I decided to go out to a local bar/restaurant I have been visiting lately. I was already a little trashy (inebriated)? waiting for my food to show up and a nice kid came over and informed me it was gay night. He pegged me for straight and was very polite and nice.

A few minutes later the nearby tables began filling up with very well dressed men and women who were all gorgeous, beautiful people. These two girls kept making an animated, exhibitionistic way. They writhed together long blonde hair flying with wreckless abandon. It was a funny, delightful and kinda hot sight.

I noticed and smiled at them. I had been staring into my Guinness searching for meaning...rationalizing not spiralling into depression, "like you do". Anyway, the moment they saw they had my attention they got up, left their gay-boy-friends and came over and sat right by me on a chair, with knees sidled up by mine, and made out somemore. They gently moved my hands onto their backs and the one girl said...."feel her breasts, aren't they wonderful?" They were. She was wearing an "anti-gravity" shirt with easy hand-slip access. She swooned dreamily....I think I did too, I said "sweet lovin' lord those are beautiful". You know what I did and I now call this night the soft silky "grapefruit" experience.

I still imagine a news headline "Local Tit-Grabber Increases Female Visits to Area Bars". Right.

They spent the whole evening hanging out with me...putting their hands on mine and casually touching and kissing me often and vice-versa.

Back to being "safe". One girl after kissing me a couple of times just might have noticed my enthusiasm and interest and asked..."so where's your boyfriend?". It kind of struck me...oooooh....I get it...I am allowed to casually touch because they presume it doesn't excite me because I am "safe". Since I was not going to stop this punani train, I just said "I'm single".

One of these girls was "bi" and the other was a broken hearted straight girl (girl as her 20's) who was on the rebound from a break up.

It was fun. It was exactly how I want every night on the town to go. I yearn for the touch, affection, acceptance and intimacy with hot, sweet, nice women. It's why I go out, it's why I exist. I wish that I could go to a place where I can be seen for who I am and still be "safe" enough to be someone with whom attractive women can share affection. The only regret from the evening was the false pretense of being a man alone there on a monday that made them assume I was "safe". Apart from that, If I am getting something I want out of the experience I don't care how a woman defines herself socially.

Being a nice guy can be great at the right time. Much of the time I feel like I should watch the Godfather and Scarface a few times, man up, treat women obliviously so they will respect me (that's how it works right?). I have to admit I don't understand it all, but I want to very much. Of course I am supposed to just live well and not care...and all that without trying at all.

So yah, from now on I am too cool to care, and I am an aloof enigma who doesn't try too hard. I still hope all that gets me chicks....duh.


Saturday, February 17, 2007

Imagining the Future

I love to imagine the future. I think my real skill is just thinking about what is known to everyone and seeing some of the pieces fit together.

I make no claim to having a novel source of ideas. I am just a creative mind and a human pattern matcher, add heavy doses of slashdot, NPR, Discovery, BBC News and other a few other sources and mix it up with a little ingenuity and sometimes you get something useful.

Here are some short future comments. This is all freely available and many of you know much of this already, but in case you don't.

Someday there will be a superman musical. It will simply happen. I don't know when or who or how, but it is a sure thing.

Computer screens will increase dramatically in resolution and reduce steadily in price in the near future. Eventually, screens will be able to display a document as well as a color laser printer (or better) and in the same size space. The Apple Cinema Display is pretty awesome at 2560 x 1600 ( and it's already a couple years old) though some day screens will be more in the 6000 x3000 range and even sharper (or higher).

Batteries are doomed. They will all be replaced by capacitors. Nano-capacitors have been invented already and this technology will replace all need for batteries. These capacitors will charge quickly (unlike a battery) and drain slowly. They will never need to be replaced in the lifetime of any product they are in so they will just be built in.

Fuel will be solar, wind, bio sourced (like alcohol fuel or bio-diesel) and probably nuclear. These are as renewable as the sun is and won't emit CO2. Nuclear power has that pesky problem of waste, though we may some day figure out how to reduce the half-life of Nuclear waste. From what I understand, re-processing nuclear fuel from uranium reactors to plutonium reactors reduces waste, though requires excellent security as the plutonium may be "weapons-grade".

Humans may actually have to purposely emit CO2 someday to prevent global ice ages (I mean in 1000's of years). It's 12 deg F out right now so I am trying to still believe in global warming.

Fusion power will be made to work some day. So we will be able to tap into the same kind of energy the sun does. That will open many doors for us.

By 2040, prepetual life will start to become a possibility. It will probably be for the very rich and there will still be no guarantee you won't get hit by a bus or something. I just mean that we will have a very good understanding of how to maintain the body in good health and control the mechanisms of disease.

Companies are experimenting now with using inkjet printers to place bio-material in the pattern they desire. Using cells instead of ink, put simply. Someday they may even be able to print out 3d organs, 1 layer at a time, made from cells that are coaxed from stem cells into becoming the right kind of cell for say the heart, liver or other organs. Maybe these stem cells could even be "harvested" from the adult patients themselves so the 3d layer-created printed-out organs will actually be ready for the intended recipient, and not be rejected. Maybe we'll even understand enough about the chemistry and processes of life to replace any part of the body.

Now, in the more speculative areas, I believe that some day physics will acheive a grand theory of everything, explaining almost everything that is possible. We will understand the nature of the Universe. We will have an understanding of gravity that is as good or better than our understanding of other fundamental concepts like electromagnetism. Knowing all this will be like, as Carl Sagan said, "reading the mind of God". We will need to be prepared for the very possible circumstance that science reveals knowledge that supercedes long held traditions about the human condition and the nature or existence of the divine.

So that's about enough for a day. It's going to be a weird, wild, amazing future. I used to be taught that it all had to end and that it was SOON SOON SOON. I do not believe it all has to end. I think there is great promise in humanity's future.


Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Trolley Square

I heard online that there were shootings in my old home town at a mall near downtown Salt Lake City, Utah. has the news, you can read about it there.

In light of the news from Salt Lake, where I used to live, I want to talk about Trolley Square.

I have been in every corner of that mall 100 times. I have taken an embarrassingly large number of dates to the same restaurants there, like the Desert Edge Brewery, Hard Rock, Rodizio Grill, Green Street and the Old Spaghetti Factory. I have gone to Sacred Roots for hair cuts many many times...even before they moved to the other side of the mall. I have holiday shopped there for every holiday...I have "back to school" shopped..."spend my bonus" shopped and every other kind of shopped there.

I have fed the fish, saw tons of bands play, gotten a "couples massage" there with my girlfriend at the I have been naked in Trolley Square (back in the Message Therapy place and under a sheet, don't ya know).

Not only have I brought a few dates there, I have eaten in every restaurant that ever was in Trolley Square at least once and some many many times. I have bought something in almost every store at some point.

My bank was there for many years. I used to imagine the place as a garage for the trolley trains of long ago, and marvelled at how the remodelling was done. I have gazed into the exposed brick and beams.

I have been drunk of my ass and sang Karaoke and had the time of my life flirting with a lot of different women there at Trolley Square. I have visited friends at work, saw many movies (is there still a theater IN the mall?) I have bought chocolates and earrings for girlfriends there.

I have performed 3 songs at Hard Rock Cafe during a musicians conference I attended. I have seen Alphaville do a concert outside the west entrance. You know, "Forever Young" and so forth.

I have met up with family members and friends I hadn't seen in years there. I have parked in a good number of the parking spaces at Trolley Square at one time or another.

I have had hot wings and beer under the Trolley Square water tower, by which you can tell the weather (did you know?).

I have fallen in and even out of love right there in Trolley Square.

Trolley Square has always been a place for pleasure, enjoyment, fulfillment, relationships, reunions, self-improvement, entertainment, drinking and dining.

I feel enormous sadness and shock at the senseless killing that was random and brutal that took place at the mall.
My heart goes out to the families of those who died and to all those who were injured and traumatized by these events.

I know it's early days and I am far away so that lessens the immediate impact for me, yet, I hope that the community can heal and that the actions of one criminal will not stop this place from being somewhere the community gathers and lives in peace and joy.

There are playgrounds and city parks in Belgium and France where war once came through, and violence once held sway.
Now these places are for people to relax, feel at peace, see the ducks and laugh, play sing, dance and be a community.

I think of Trolley Square as a kind of oasis of culture and life in Salt Lake and I hope it can remain that for many years to come.



With medical advances arriving the promise of increased longevity is slowly arising. Increased human longevity could bring profound changes to society and the way things work. It is especially concerning that access to longevity itself may be based on economic status.

Suppose a drug dealer shoots and kills an innocent bystander who is a 40 year old man, effectively robbing him of perhaps half his life. Even if he were only to live only another year naturally, the crime is still every bit as punishable.

It does start to feel more serious, though, when the possibility of long life is available through medical science. Maybe this hypothetical situation could have happened in 2040 or later. Suppose the man was taking a "Methusala" pill daily and would have live for another 100, 150 years or even more. It may be perceived as even more egregious to rob someone of a much longer life. This is akin to the way we feel about the death of children or teenagers now. With so much ahead of them, the injustice stings our sensibilities more.

When we eventually, perhaps inevitably, are able to extend life, we may have to balance reproduction levels somehow. Maybe one will have to trade fertility for increased longevity. Perhaps the effects will be tied up together in the treatments. In the same pill so to speak. I am not sure it is necessary though.

Suppose, with extended life, human beings could travel to other star systems to search out new homes. Or we could live much longer in a hollowed out (hopefully also nicely appointed and well lit) asteroid far from the effects of any sun like Carl Sagan postulates in his book "Pale Blue Dot".

Maybe with incredibly long life, larger projects would become possible. Such as building elaborate homes in space by assembling materials over time. We already have the components of solar "push" technology which would use focused energy from the sun to adjust the position of objects. Another factor would be time...perhaps a lot of time, though we would also have time to develop new and better energy sources.

Could people, given 1000's upon 1000's of years, assemble planets...even stars? Ok this is getting highly speculative since we can only dream of slightly nudging a large asteroid enough that its eventual trajectory misses hitting the earth. Such an asteroid would be the about a kilometer in one or more of its dimensions. That is pretty tiny compared to a planet...even a small moon. Phobos, a moon of Mars, is 22.2 km in "diameter" (it is not at all round, more like a potato).

I digress. Human longevity will be a factor in the future, politically, scientifically and socially. I just hope it isn't another class-making factor. Class being the attempt to manufacture a privileged perspective, as an illusion, when none really exists.


Friday, February 09, 2007


New, funny words seem to get into our language sometimes. In the U.S. I have heard the term WONK for people who are so in the KNOW that they sound almost snooty for knowing. Maybe I am a WONK for knowing what a WONK is!?

Then there's Noopsie...from the Tivo show The O.C. (poor Mischa Barton, held responsible for single handedly killing a show though maybe saved herself from eternally playing one character) I finally think I have that word figured out. I think it's for those born with a silver spoon in their mouth. A kind of privelaged and entitled class that are so privelaged and entitled they hardly know that they are. You take silver SPOON and reverse SPOON to get NOOPS then diminutize it in a dismissive yet adoring way to NOOPSIE.

Even if I have these "wrong" there is really no absolute right or wrong in evolving language. I have spoken backwards for fun for much of my life so I sometimes catch on to these things.

Maybe I should invent my own words like as JetSet is to world travel maybe an ETSAT could be to someone with good taste. NAMUH's (Nah-moooz) could be atheists who still have morals. Maybe TRAMS are people that are so smart they believe in sustainable development and walkable communities.

EKUN, eco-friendly people who are OK with Nuclear power because it doesn't emit carbon dioxide.

REDEEPS, those who buy hybrid cars just so they can accelerate faster at the same fuel consumption and carbon emission rate as their old car, which they sold to someone else anyway.

YAG's, men who like Cold Play AND sex with women.

What do you think? Any more newspeak words out there? I am still waiting for my Wall-Size T.V.


Sunday, February 04, 2007

God is not a woman

Men who say God is a woman are smart, because it scores them points with women.

I think women who say God is a woman want to emphasize that their gender should be accepted and respected. To gain esteem of self and others why not co-brand with a concept widely revered by men and women? Naturally women do deserve equal treatment as human beings and should respect themselves and be accepted and respected by all humans.

Let me start here: anthropromorphizing the divine is vain (as in both self-serving and pointless) and exactly where we went wrong with religion in the first place. Male and female humans are so similar in the cosmic perspective that there is no reason in the idea of a God of a particular gender. One is as good as the other in this symbolism. I think elevating human characteristics to God-defining-level is of no particular interest to my view of things eternal, all powerful and omnipresent. People only do it to attach something about themselves to something powerful.

God is probably..."Gravity" or "Order" or some other concept. Saying "God is an American" makes about as much rational sense. It is the application of a lower order, limited concept upon a higher order limitless concept and it has no useful meaning at all, unless David Bowie says it.

I think there may not be a God of any kind we hope for. If there is such a God, even the definition we invented for Him or Her places this being well outside the limits that proscribe Human Beings. Women are born, live, bleed, feel pain, die. This is not a definition of God by anyone's standard. This is, however, an equally perfect definition of a man.

God is black, God is muslim, God is a jew, God is a mormon, God is Jesus, God has a beard, God has a womb, God is me. All these are the foolish self-serving imaginations of insecure humans seeking self-esteem, self importance...seeking a way to have it over on whomever they feel normally has it over on them.

Calling God a woman is the same idea as using God to support the Irish Republicans against the Unionists and vice versa. It's the same idea as using God to justify terror attacks.

The only reason to say it is to enhance one's own position in regard to other people. This God person gets used and abused for mutual repression and man or woman's inhumanity to man or woman. God gets exploited to push just about anything. Ultimately, God is a man-made concept. This does not preclude there being wonders and realities yet beyond our understanding, but this one is a rusty tired old dented hammer that has been used far to much by people to bludgeon one another.

I hope women will seek their self esteem and have the respect they deserve as human beings. Groping for God status is an act of desperation and corruption to which no man or woman aspires for any noble reason, but only to dominate and repress one another. After we are over the need to reach to the ultimate symbol, maybe it is finally time to look within for worth.

Yes, you guessed it, I am also contending that God is not a man.